Perspective

Sometimes I find myself forgetting, more than I would like to admit, how blessed I am for the health of my child. I had an uncomplicated pregnancy and Carson has never once been to the doctors for anything but well checks. There are definitely times when I take his health for granted. In fact, sadly, I take a lot more than that for granted.

Since I work in the pediatric field, I come in contact with all different kinds of children.  I have the pleasure of working with children with autism, Down syndrome, cerebral palsy, and even children who are wheelchair bound. But these children, despite their differences, have so much joy. Whenever I see the joy on their faces, it is a huge wake up call to me. There are days when I get upset because Carson is crying or getting into everything, but there are children out there who would give anything to be able to use their legs or to use their voice to express their needs.

Our power went out last weekend so we went and hung out at target! So that’s why there are all these goofy target pictures!

Carson is such a a healthy boy and I am so thankful for that. I pray I never forget how blessed we are for my sweet boy’s health. I also know that anything can happen and Carson may not always be as healthy as he is now, but I know that God is sovereign over it all. I want to truly be thankful and not take things like this for granted.  I believe God puts the children that I work with in my life for a reason. Those children in a way might think that I am helping them, but they are actually helping me so much more! Their gentle, sweet smiles remind me of Gods goodness and hope. Today, I choose to hold my baby boy in a little closer and pray a sweet prayer of thankfulness over him. I also hope and pray that when he gets older I can instill thankfulness in his heart. I pray that he wil choose joy regardless of his situation and will always see other’s needs before his. When I think about some of the children I see, it definitely gives me a new perspective on things. My worries and troubles are no where close to some of the things people face on a daily basis.

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Psalm 106:9

Praise the Lord! Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever!

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How I made working out a Habit: Postpartum

After Carson was born, I had a really hard time getting back into my workout routine. I have always been an active person but after you have a baby your whole world practically changes. I had a new schedule, a new body, and a new life! Everything kinda just got thrown out the window once I had Carson. At first, I had a really hard time adjusting to everything and working out was the last thing on my mind those first couple months. But once I started, I never looked back and it has become a part of my everyday life.

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I started slowly getting back into running when Carson was about 8 weeks old. My mom came running with me those first few times back and it was so nice to have some accountability and encouragement. I was amazed by how out of shape I was and there were so many times I felt discouraged, but I pushed through and just took it one work out at a time. So for the first 3 or 4 months, I didn’t do a ton of working out, mostly just running a few miles every couple days. When Carson was about 4 months old is when I really started making it a priority. At first, it was really difficult finding the time and figuring out when the best time was to go for a run or do an insanity workout. I couldn’t have done it without Jordan’s help and encouragement.

This was my time from back in April and below is my time from this morning. Working out and running takes time and patience. It doesn’t happen overnight.

I shaved over 2 minutes off my time. I love looking back at my previous runs, it motivates me and shows me how far I have come.

So I decided to list 5 things that I believe have really made all the difference in making working out a priority. Of course, this list is what I believe has worked for me, but it may not be the same for someone else. I also have not paid for a gym membership once, which has been really nice. There were so many times I wanted to join the gym and just stick Carson in the daycare, but I pushed through the urge and found new ways to work out to keep things exciting. My wallet thanks me for it!

#1- It’s not about IF, it’s about WHEN- I would say this is the biggest and most important thing to remember. There were so many times when I didn’t want to go running, but I did it anyways. I changed my outlook on it and instead of saying “if I get to go for a run today” I say “when I go for my run today.” Even Jordan has caught on and no longer asks me “are you gonna go for a run today?” He knows me well enough now that he just immediately asks “what time are you going running today?”

#2-There is always enough time- There are many days when I wanted to use this as an excuse. Especially, since Jordan leaves for the gym around 5:45 and then heads straight to work. So that meant some days I had to get up at 5am to get my workout in before he left for work and before Carson woke up. I made the time and I made it a priority. I don’t typically like working out in the mornings, but once I do I am so glad that I did it and got it out of the way.

#3 -Work out with the baby- Some women probably hate doing this but I actually really enjoy it. A lot of times this can be easier said than done though.  It definitely makes things a little harder, but sometimes you just have to think outside of the box a little bit. Thanks to Jordan, most days I can get in a workout by myself, but there are some days that are jam packed and I have to take Carson with me. A lot of the time I will jog with him in the stroller for a couple miles and then stop at a grassy park and do some sprints. Carson really enjoys getting out and finds it hilarious watching me try to run fast.


#4 –Plan out your workouts- This is a big one for me. Since I don’t have a gym membership, I really have to plan out my workouts in advance. I know Jordan and I’s schedule like the back of my hand. We have bible studies, family dinners, work, and many other different activities and events going on throughout the week so I make it a point to schedule my workouts. That means not every day is the same. Some days I work out at 5am and other days I work out around 1 or sometimes even at night. It changes all the time, so communication WITH Jordan is really important.  Every night before we go to sleep I say “okay, so when you get home from this, I’m going to go for a run before blah blah blah” or some nights I will just tell Jordan I’m going to workout with Carson tomorrow that way we can spend the day together when you get home from work. I make it a point to keep Jordan in the loop, even if it seems silly. I feel like communication, especially with a baby, is so so important, not just with scheduling workout times but with anything. Jordan now knows that running and working out is important to me and is a priority for me. At first, that took him a while to get used to, but once he got the hang of it, it has really helped and even keeps me accountable.

#5 –Accountability- I feel like this is probably a no-brainer for everybody, but it really makes such a big difference.  My mom and I go running together a lot and it helps so much! We will get to talking and before we know it, we have ran 5 miles! Schedule times to meet up with others to workout. Or better yet, workout with your spouse. This is a little harder to do now that we have a little one, but Jordan and I love going mountain bike riding together. It is so much fun, that it doesn’t even feel like a workout. A few weeks ago, a group of ladies from my church went hiking. It was probably the last thing that I wanted to do at 6am on a Saturday morning but I had already promised that I was going. Before I knew it, we had hiked 6 miles! We were all chatting and enjoying each other’s company, the time just flew right by! So make it a point to have people in your life that will challenge you, push you, and encourage you to stay the course and most of all somebody that you trust and enjoy working out with.

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I am definitely not an expert, but this is personally what has worked for me and my family. I still have so much to learn and so much to improve on, but if there is one thing I have learned is that it takes time and patience. Most importantly, exercise should not be the top priority. God wants us to treat our bodies like temples, this means exercising and eating healthy, but also giving our bodies the proper amount of rest. I know I have struggled in the past with exercising excessively. There were days I would workout 2 or 3 times a day and hardly eat anything. I was most definitely not treating my body the way God designed for us to. I now have a much healthier lifestyle and I think becoming a mom has helped me embrace my body. My body is not perfect and I am learning that that is ok. I will always have saggy skin just below my belly button and the stretch marks that look like a tiger molested me. But I grew a beautiful baby inside of my short, 5ft frame. For that, I am thankful for my body and love my mombod; stretch marks and all.

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Its Not a “Picture Perfect” Life

Sometimes, I look back at my high school self and wonder what I would do differently if I could go back. My life is not picture perfect at all. It didn’t happen in the order of sequence that I would of wanted it to and I am slowly but surely learning that that is okay. I wouldn’t consider myself a writer, although I do love to write, so this may sound like a jumbled up pile of mixed emotions.

There are many times I think back and wish I would of done things the “normal” way. Graduate high school, get a college degree, meet the love of my life, get married, have an amazing career, and then have kids MUCH later in life. It seems as though that is becoming the “new normal” more and more. People are getting a college degree, getting married later in life, and then having kids. But that is the world’s way of seeing it. That is a worldly “normal”. Who says you have to wait till your 30 to have kids?

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I got married at the ripe age of 19, then one year later, we found out we were expecting. We weren’t planning on having kids till much later in life. It definitely put “a wrench” in our plans.  Part of me felt like, Okay Savana, this is your life now, you are going to be a wife and a mom. Half of me was excited for this new phase of life, but a part (a big part) of me felt like a piece of me had died. I can no longer do what I want, follow my dreams, all of that is gone. Navigating life after your first baby is hard. I still have dreams and passions, but part of me now knows that my baby boy, next to Christ and my husband, comes first. It’s no longer about what I want, God has chosen me to be Carson’s mom. And he has chosen me to be his mom right now. Even though I didn’t have Carson when I wanted him, I had Carson when God wanted me to. Being a mom is one of the greatest blessings and although it may not always seem that way, I am so glad God chose me to be Carson’s mommy when he did.

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Sometimes, I look around and I am completely amazed by how blessed I am. But part of me still feels empty. I am still trying to fill that void. My desire is to go to dental hygiene school. But, I know deep down, that probably isn’t the best thing for Carson and our family right now. I believe God gives us dreams and passions to pursue, but sometimes what I want and what God wants can look grey. Its not black or white. Its not a yes or no. Finding a balance between it all can be overwhelmingly hard. I just cant seem to give it all up. I can’t surrender all of my wants, needs, and desires to him.  Why is this so hard for me?

When I was a little girl, all I ever wanted was to be married and have kids. That was my dream job, to be a wife and a mother. Why is there a part of me that still wants more? Sometimes, being a wife and a mom can feel so mundane. It is most definitely a job that doesn’t get enough credit. As a dental assistant, we get bonuses when our office does really well. When I work my butt off at my job, I get rewarded and noticed for it. As a mom, at times, it can feel like all I get is temper-tantrums and meltdowns. That sounds incredibly selfish, but sometimes it is hard to not feel this way. My job as a mom can go unnoticed and I don’t like that feeling. I like that sense of accomplishment after a long work day. That feeling like I made a difference and that I am apart of something bigger. Its as though, I have to be a missionary in a third-world country or something extravagant in order to feel accomplished.

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When I fix my eyes back on Jesus, and not the things of this world, I quickly realize I have the most important job in the world. I am apart of “something bigger”. I am investing my heart, soul, and life into this little human of mine. Everything I say and do, he looks at. God has placed Carson in my life for a reason. That sounds silly, like, of course, that is what Carson is in your life for. But in the middle of meltdowns in the grocery store and the constant biting, after I have said “no, biting” for the millionth time, It can be hard to rest in this truth.

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I am in a weird season of life, I feel so young, but also feel so old. Half of the people I went to high school with are in sororities and living the college life or starting their careers. I am learning its okay to not have my life go in the sequence that most people would consider normal. Although, I did get an education and went to school, I don’t have a degree, I don’t have an amazing career. I haven’t accomplished all that I wanted to. It may be a part of God’s plan for me to be a dental hygienist, but it also maybe a apart of his plan for me to stay home and be with Carson right now. Either way, it is God’s plan and his plan is always good. I know his plan is much better than anything I could ever come up with. The lord knows my desires and wants. He has inclined his ear to me.

Maybe the void I am trying to fill is standing right in front me, the one that calls me by name and catches every tear from my eyes. Becoming successful is not going to fill the void in my heart, only God can truly meet and fulfill my needs. These earthly desires are temporary and will only leave me feeling hungry and wanting more. Stepping out of what I want and who I am, and into who he is, is where I will find my complete happiness. I want to fully rest in his perfect peace, today and everyday. His plan is always better than mine.

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I may not have the “picture perfect” life that I wanted. And it may not have happened in the order that I would have hoped. But I do have an amazing husband that loves me and a son that looks up to me and considers me his world right now. And more than anything, I have a savior. A savior that loves me, for me! He loves me regardless of what I do or who I am. He doesn’t care if I have a master’s degree, an amazing career, or if I’m the president of the united states. He loves me even if I am “just” a wife and a mom.

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Linking up with: The beauty in his grip, Savvy Southern style, A little R&R, Jessi’s Design, The NY Melrose Family, Purposeful faith, A fresh start on a budget, momfessionals, Annie and Natalie, Intentionally pursuing

First weekend of fall

You would think for the first weekend of fall I would have some exciting pictures of us at a pumpkin patch or us taking a walk with the different colored leaves in the background. But nope, this weekend was pretty low key and we didn’t do to much. We spent a lot of time with friends and family which always makes for a good weekend. Friday night we went to my moms for dinner, we usually do every Friday for family dinner. We had taco crescents (it’s like taco meat baked in a crescent roll), it is so yummy. I also had a glass of wine, which is strange because I usually don’t like wine but this kind was very good!


I set my alarm really early on Saturday morning so I could get a run in before Carson woke up. I was able to run 5 miles and got done around 6:30am. I have been really happy with my running lately, I have been running close to 9 minute miles. When I first started running after having Carson, I was running over 10 minute miles, so I am slowly but surely getting faster so that was encouraging. After my run, we made our usual run to Starbucks. Venti vanilla iced coffee and room for cream please.


Saturday morning we went to Jordan’s grandparents house for brunch for my sweet sister in law and my nephews baby shower. We had Cinnabon, fruit salad, and an egg casserole. As much as I wanted one I stayed away from the cinnamon roll! Jordan ate one for me though, he had three! I’m pretty sure Jordan had dreams of Cinnabon all weekend. He is obsessed.

Saturday afternoon, I was in a baking mood, so I made these banana chocolate chip cookies and they were so delicious. They are actually almost all gone and Jordan and I didn’t share them with anybody!


  
Saturday night we walked around norterra for a little while and went into a Halloween store to look at costumes. Of course, Jordan had to try on the Obama costume. My work is dressing up for Halloween and we are all dressing up as the characters from Alice in wonderland so of course I was chosen to be Alice. But I will definitely not be paying 50$ dollars for my Alice costume! It is so crazy how expensive Halloween costumes are. It was fun to look around though and see all the different costumes and such.


For dinner, we decided on In n Out, which is never a bad idea. We met my brother and his wife for dinner and chatted about hygiene school. My brother starts dental hygiene school today, I am so excited for him! Anyways, Carson was making all sorts of faces and it wasn’t long before he started practicing his velociraptor screams and we had to leave.

Sunday morning we attempted church, but Carson was practicing his screams again and his new thing lately has been biting mommy. I would be lying if I said it was an easy weekend. This weekend was tough and Carson has really been testing by patience lately. He is at a weird age right now where he doesn’t really understand when we discipline him for biting, screaming, etc. I am trying to teach him “no, we don’t bite” but he just does it again. Ugh! So anyways church hadn’t even started for 10 minutes and he was already screaming and biting, so I decided to just take him home and do church by myself.

my battle wounds aka Carsons teeth marks

After jordan got home from church I went on a 4 mile run and it was so hot and nasty out. So I was definitely a lot slower than normal. So ready for it to start cooling down here! Sunday afternoon, we spent with family at Jordan’s grandparents and visited with his uncle who was in town. It was nice having the whole family together!


This morning, I woke up really early just so I could get some alone time in and spend some time with the lord before Carson woke up. I am Physically, mentally, and spiritually preparing for the week ahead. Parenting is hard. I am thankful for God’s grace this morning and I know “this too shall pass.”  A lot of Jesus and a lot of coffee will be my fuel this week. It’s not even 7am and I am working on my second cup! Happy Monday!

Linking up with Meghan and Biana today:

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Thoughts on Thursday: Frozen baby food bites

I can’t believe there is only one more week of September! This month has flown by! It’s crazy how fast time goes by when you have a child! Even though I am not glad time is going by so quickly, I am glad it’s almost October and the weather will start cooling down more. Today, it is still a high of 106!

Okay enough about the weather, I am practically an old lady and could talk about the weather forever. Anyways, Carson is in full on teething mode right now. He is always sticking things in his mouth and wanting to naw on something to help the pain go away. Bless his heart! I have tried everything and nothing seems to be really working except when he eats? I’m not really sure why but for whatever reason he is always quiet when we are giving him food! Lol Carson also really enjoys eating puffs for a snack which I do like to give to him but if he eats to many it makes him (tmi, I know) constipated. Ever since we added puffs in his diet I have noticed how much trouble he is having in that department. So after a couple months of this going on I tried thinking of other things I could give him and that’s when I decided to take just regular baby food and freeze it into little bites. He loves these things and they just melt right in his mouth. These frozen baby food bites have been a life saver and it is also nice because this way he is still learning to feed himself but he is also not filling himself up with just puffs.

I know, they look really gross, like a bunch of tiny animal droppings! lol



To make the baby food bites I simply just put baby food (I used prunes) into a plastic baggy and cut a very small hole at the bottom tip of the bag. I made small circles onto a tray and placed it in the freezer for a couple hours. Once they are completely frozen, I combine them all together in one bag to keep in the freezer and take out as needed. Carson gobbled these things up and since they were frozen they helped relieve some teething pain as well! He loves eating finger foods so this way he is still eating good nutritious foods but he is also learning to feed himself something else other than puffs and Cheerios!

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Linking up with Annie and natalie:

Carson’s 9 month well check

Carson had his 9 month well check today and thankfully is super healthy and right on track! I was really surprised by his measurements.  He weighed in at 18.4lbs. I thought for sure he would be above average for weight but was actually only  in the 22 percentile! I think now that he is mobile, he has lost some weight. Carson measured 28 inches for his height, which put him in the 44th percentile for height. and of course, my sweet boys head was in the 66th perecentile.  I thought his head would actually be more like in the 90th percentile but to my surprise wasn’t! Carson got 3 shots today, he received his Hep B, Polio, and flu shot! He was such a trooper and stopped crying as soon as I scooped him up.  We love Carson’s pediatrician, Dr. Fischer. She is super sweet and is always so reassuring. I imagine Carson will be extra clingy today and just want to snuggle, which I am totally ok with! I miss those days when he would just lay on my chest all day! Now he is up and moving all around, all the time! Anyways, I sure do love this boy and I cant believe the next time we go to the pediatrician he will be one!


Carson {9 months}

How is it that my sweet boy is already 9 months? Time has flown by and everyday with this boy is an adventure. He is constantly keeping me on my toes and has completely stolen my heart. I feel like this past month he has learned so many new things and really has a personality now. He is interested in so many things and is very aware of his surroundings. Next week, Carson has his 9 month appointment with his pediatrician, so I will be able to get his accurate weight, height, etc. then. I love this boy so much!


  
Health: As far as health goes this boy is as healthy as a horse! He hasn’t really ever gotten sick besides just a little cold. I am so thankful he is so healthy and thriving.

Teething: It seems like every week this boy has a new tooth coming in! He has two teeth on the bottom and 1 on the top. He looks like a total hillbilly right now with 1 tooth, but the other one is just about to pop through! Teething has been really rough, there have been a few sleepless nights and days were he is just really clingy.

Clothing: As far as clothing size, it is all over the place. He wears mostly 9 month clothes but can also fit into 12 months and 6 months, depending on if the brand runs big or small.

Eating: Carson loves to eat. He will eat anything and everything we give him. He usually will have some mashed fruit or oatmeal in the morning and then for dinner will have some pureed veggies or whatever we are having cut up in small pieces. He also loves to snack on puffs! He would eat the whole container if I let him! Carson is getting really good at self feeding and feeds himself most of the time, unless it is something he has to eat with a spoon. We have tried lots of new foods this month and thankfully doesn’t seem to have any aversions to anything yet! Carson also has four 8oz bottles a day.

Nicknames: I’d day 75% of the time we call hims “bubs” instead of by his real name. For some reason we started calling him that after he was born and it has just kinda stuck. We also occasionally will call him “boogie boo” or “boogie bear”. Yes, we are those parents.

Likes: More like LOVES his “Ba ba” (bottle), bath time, reading books, going on walks, patty cake, peek-a-boo, and playing with his daddy. He also likes having free roam of the house to crawl wherever he pleases. Carson also loves to play with Roxy’s food bowl and bang it on the ground. He is also obsessed with outlet plugs. I will put like 10 toys in front of this boy and he will crawl straight to the outlet.

New this month: This has been a big month for Carson. He has learned so much lately. He learned to crawl on all fours, pull up on furniture, stand up, and seems to be learning something new every day. He also cut 2 new teeth this past month. I don’t know if its because of teething but Carson has been super clingy and hates being left alone.

Dislikes: Naps, bumbo, and doesn’t like being in his carseat for an extended period of time.

Sleeping: At night, Carson has been sleeping really well. He goes to bed between 7:30 or 8 and usually sleeps till 6:30 or 7am. Once in a while he will wake up in the middle of the night, but usually will fall back asleep after a few minutes. I am so grateful that he sleeps through the night! Naps on the other hand are another story, he hates taking naps and usually will end up napping in the car or falling asleep in random places like in his saucer:


This boy is such a ham. Even though carson is now so mobile and getting into everything, this is still such a fun age. It’s been such a joy watching him learn new things. He is like a sponge right now, soaking in and intently watching everything we are doing. I think my favorite part of the day is when I go into carson’s room when he first wakes up and he pops up his little head and gives me the biggest grin. It’s seriously the best feeling. We are getting our family pictures taken this weekend so I will have more “professional” photos of him. All these photos are super random, but they are some of my favorites. I can’t wait to have some new family pictures, we haven’t had any good quality pics of all 3 of us since carson was a newborn.

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Carson’s first time having some frozen yogurt. He loved it!

Carson’s eyes light up whenever daddy walks in the room! Jordan is such a good daddy and my heart just melts whenever I see them together.


  
  

Jordan and I are so grateful to be Carson’s mom and dad. It has been such a joy watching him grow and learn new things everyday. I’m so thankful for this boy! Happy 9 months Carson, we love you!

Life is a Garden 

“Life is not a ladder but a garden to enjoy” J. Yates
Lately, I have really been struggling with this. There are days were I wish Carson was in a different stage. I wish he wasn’t getting into stuff, teething, pulling up on furniture and then falling down, putting everything in his mouth, and the list goes on. It’s as though I view my life as a ladder and I’m always trying to get to the next “step”. Thinking the next stage will be easier or “I will be able to do this once he is at this age” but each stage brings on a new set of challenges. At times I feel drained and overwhelmed that I will never catch up with all the new changes. Sometimes I find myself wanting to go “down the ladder”, go back and fix the areas where I feel like I failed as a mom.


I need to learn to rest in the here and now. I need to stop wishing the time away and stop trying to take it back. I can’t change anything. The lord is so patient and gives us abundant grace. What would my life look like if I relied and lived out that truth every day? I long to enjoy the “garden” the lord has set before me. I want to fully rest in the present and stop looking behind or ahead. My sweet boy will only be this little once and even though some days are trying, I know one day when he is grown I’ll be wishing I could go back.  So instead of trying to go up or down the ladder, I choose to enjoy the beauty and grace in the garden the lord has in front of me.

Small Things

  
“the smallest things become great when God requires them of us; they are small only in themselves; they are always great when they are done for God, and when they serve to unite us with Him eternally…”~francis Fenelon

I love this quote by Francis Fenelon. It is such a great reminder and refreshes my soul. Sometimes, I get so caught up in doing “big things” or living a life that is extraordinary and unique that I quickly forget God has me where I am for a reason. Since I got married so young and had a baby by the time I was 21, I often feel like I grew up to quickly. That sounds selfish in a sense but I would be lying if I said there wasn’t times when I wish I had had more “me” time. Time to follow my dreams, travel, and learn to live and thrive on my own. But, when I start to dwell on those thoughts I quickly remind myself that this life is not mine. God has called me to be his servant and I am here on this earth solely to bring glory to him. I know full and well this is God’s plan for me. That doesn’t mean it is wrong to have dreams and goals. But right now my most important job is my family.  Sometimes I feel my job as a mom is so mundane and redundant. Motherhood is hard, a thousand times harder than I ever dreamed, but also a million times better. I have had to put passions and dreams of mine on hold for the betterment of my son.  A lot of times I feel being a mom goes unnoticed. How could God possibly use me if I am not on the frontlines in Africa as a missionary or a best-selling author? How can I invest in peoples lives and witness to others if I am at home changing diapers, folding laundry, etc.? God gently reminds me I have a soul I can witness to every hour of everyday! I am investing and pouring my life into another human. What could be more important than that? Daily, I am teaching my son to love Jesus.  My family is my ministry. I am called to love, teach, and nourish this sweet son of mine. When I choose to dwell in Jesus and teach my son about the bible I am doing “big things”. This is my calling and this is where God has me in this season of life. I am learning to rest and enjoy everyday life as a wife and mother. Its a different pace and my life has changed quickly, maybe more quickly than I would have liked, but I know this is the lord’s plan and I am thankful. I choose to see the small and mundane things in my life as big things for the lord and to use them for his glory. I choose to see my family as my ministry and not just people I live with. So whether I am rocking Carson to sleep or cleaning little kids teeth at work, I choose to do it with a joyful heart and for the glory of the lord.

“Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God”

1 Corinthians 10:31