Carson’s Baby Dedication Day

Yesterday, was Carson’s dedication day at church. It was a great day and we had so many friends and family there with us as we dedicated Carson to the Lord. Ever since Carson was born I knew I wanted him to be apart of a baby dedication service. Baby dedication to us means that we as parents are publicly, before the church, promising to raise our son in the love and admonishment of our Lord and savior, Jesus Christ. In the Christian faith, we believe you are not saved until you profess Jesus as your lord and savior and call on him to be apart of your life. We know that dedicating Carson does not insure his salvation but rather a pledge to raise Carson up in the biblical truth. We hope and pray that Carson will one day accept Jesus into his heart and will be a light for him. Carson’s dedication yesterday was kind of an eye opener like “wow, we are really doing this!” God has entrusted us with this precious gift to help grow, nurture and love. What an amazing and overwhelming thought! Our prayer is that we will help lead Carson to walk with the Lord and that he will love the Lord with all his heart.We are so blessed to have such amazing family, friends, and church members that will come along side us as we raise our son. It was such a special day and one that we will always cherish as parents.

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This wasn’t taken yesterday, but my sweet sis-in-law took it a couple weeks ago and I just had to share! He looks so grown up!

“Hear, O Israel, The Lord our God, the Lord is one.  You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” Deuteronomy 6:4-7

Its Not a “Picture Perfect” Life

Sometimes, I look back at my high school self and wonder what I would do differently if I could go back. My life is not picture perfect at all. It didn’t happen in the order of sequence that I would of wanted it to and I am slowly but surely learning that that is okay. I wouldn’t consider myself a writer, although I do love to write, so this may sound like a jumbled up pile of mixed emotions.

There are many times I think back and wish I would of done things the “normal” way. Graduate high school, get a college degree, meet the love of my life, get married, have an amazing career, and then have kids MUCH later in life. It seems as though that is becoming the “new normal” more and more. People are getting a college degree, getting married later in life, and then having kids. But that is the world’s way of seeing it. That is a worldly “normal”. Who says you have to wait till your 30 to have kids?

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I got married at the ripe age of 19, then one year later, we found out we were expecting. We weren’t planning on having kids till much later in life. It definitely put “a wrench” in our plans.  Part of me felt like, Okay Savana, this is your life now, you are going to be a wife and a mom. Half of me was excited for this new phase of life, but a part (a big part) of me felt like a piece of me had died. I can no longer do what I want, follow my dreams, all of that is gone. Navigating life after your first baby is hard. I still have dreams and passions, but part of me now knows that my baby boy, next to Christ and my husband, comes first. It’s no longer about what I want, God has chosen me to be Carson’s mom. And he has chosen me to be his mom right now. Even though I didn’t have Carson when I wanted him, I had Carson when God wanted me to. Being a mom is one of the greatest blessings and although it may not always seem that way, I am so glad God chose me to be Carson’s mommy when he did.

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Sometimes, I look around and I am completely amazed by how blessed I am. But part of me still feels empty. I am still trying to fill that void. My desire is to go to dental hygiene school. But, I know deep down, that probably isn’t the best thing for Carson and our family right now. I believe God gives us dreams and passions to pursue, but sometimes what I want and what God wants can look grey. Its not black or white. Its not a yes or no. Finding a balance between it all can be overwhelmingly hard. I just cant seem to give it all up. I can’t surrender all of my wants, needs, and desires to him.  Why is this so hard for me?

When I was a little girl, all I ever wanted was to be married and have kids. That was my dream job, to be a wife and a mother. Why is there a part of me that still wants more? Sometimes, being a wife and a mom can feel so mundane. It is most definitely a job that doesn’t get enough credit. As a dental assistant, we get bonuses when our office does really well. When I work my butt off at my job, I get rewarded and noticed for it. As a mom, at times, it can feel like all I get is temper-tantrums and meltdowns. That sounds incredibly selfish, but sometimes it is hard to not feel this way. My job as a mom can go unnoticed and I don’t like that feeling. I like that sense of accomplishment after a long work day. That feeling like I made a difference and that I am apart of something bigger. Its as though, I have to be a missionary in a third-world country or something extravagant in order to feel accomplished.

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When I fix my eyes back on Jesus, and not the things of this world, I quickly realize I have the most important job in the world. I am apart of “something bigger”. I am investing my heart, soul, and life into this little human of mine. Everything I say and do, he looks at. God has placed Carson in my life for a reason. That sounds silly, like, of course, that is what Carson is in your life for. But in the middle of meltdowns in the grocery store and the constant biting, after I have said “no, biting” for the millionth time, It can be hard to rest in this truth.

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I am in a weird season of life, I feel so young, but also feel so old. Half of the people I went to high school with are in sororities and living the college life or starting their careers. I am learning its okay to not have my life go in the sequence that most people would consider normal. Although, I did get an education and went to school, I don’t have a degree, I don’t have an amazing career. I haven’t accomplished all that I wanted to. It may be a part of God’s plan for me to be a dental hygienist, but it also maybe a apart of his plan for me to stay home and be with Carson right now. Either way, it is God’s plan and his plan is always good. I know his plan is much better than anything I could ever come up with. The lord knows my desires and wants. He has inclined his ear to me.

Maybe the void I am trying to fill is standing right in front me, the one that calls me by name and catches every tear from my eyes. Becoming successful is not going to fill the void in my heart, only God can truly meet and fulfill my needs. These earthly desires are temporary and will only leave me feeling hungry and wanting more. Stepping out of what I want and who I am, and into who he is, is where I will find my complete happiness. I want to fully rest in his perfect peace, today and everyday. His plan is always better than mine.

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I may not have the “picture perfect” life that I wanted. And it may not have happened in the order that I would have hoped. But I do have an amazing husband that loves me and a son that looks up to me and considers me his world right now. And more than anything, I have a savior. A savior that loves me, for me! He loves me regardless of what I do or who I am. He doesn’t care if I have a master’s degree, an amazing career, or if I’m the president of the united states. He loves me even if I am “just” a wife and a mom.

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Linking up with: The beauty in his grip, Savvy Southern style, A little R&R, Jessi’s Design, The NY Melrose Family, Purposeful faith, A fresh start on a budget, momfessionals, Annie and Natalie, Intentionally pursuing

Life is a Garden 

“Life is not a ladder but a garden to enjoy” J. Yates
Lately, I have really been struggling with this. There are days were I wish Carson was in a different stage. I wish he wasn’t getting into stuff, teething, pulling up on furniture and then falling down, putting everything in his mouth, and the list goes on. It’s as though I view my life as a ladder and I’m always trying to get to the next “step”. Thinking the next stage will be easier or “I will be able to do this once he is at this age” but each stage brings on a new set of challenges. At times I feel drained and overwhelmed that I will never catch up with all the new changes. Sometimes I find myself wanting to go “down the ladder”, go back and fix the areas where I feel like I failed as a mom.


I need to learn to rest in the here and now. I need to stop wishing the time away and stop trying to take it back. I can’t change anything. The lord is so patient and gives us abundant grace. What would my life look like if I relied and lived out that truth every day? I long to enjoy the “garden” the lord has set before me. I want to fully rest in the present and stop looking behind or ahead. My sweet boy will only be this little once and even though some days are trying, I know one day when he is grown I’ll be wishing I could go back.  So instead of trying to go up or down the ladder, I choose to enjoy the beauty and grace in the garden the lord has in front of me.

Why the Whole 30 Didnt Work for Me

Firstly, this post is in no way meant to bring down or talk bad about the whole 30 program. I think the whole 30 is a great program and some of my closest family and friends have had great success with it. It just wasn’t for me. Did I loose weight? yes. But, all in all, It wasn’t the right program for me and I am not just saying that because I didn’t get to have creamer with my coffee or my beloved chocolate covered almonds. I completed 21 days out of 30 on the whole 30. By day 21 i had had enough and ran to the closest Starbucks to get my vanilla iced coffee that I missed so dearly.

  
I did learn lots of good things though  while on the whole 30 and a lot of those things I still follow. I figured i would start out by listing the things that i did like about the whole 30.

  1. I slept better- Being a new mom, sleep is pretty scarce around here. But while on the whole 30, I slept like a baby (except not like my baby, because he doesn’t sleep). I was surprised by how fast I could fall asleep and stay asleep.
  2. I learned to cook better-  Whole 30 taught me to take the time to cook my meals. Before I would just cook whatever was fast and that took minimal time on my part.
  3. It taught me to look at the ingredients label- Before whole 30, Jordan and I ate pretty healthy but once I started the whole 30 I was shocked to see so many things I used to buy had really bad ingredients added in them. Whole 30 has definitely made me more aware of what exactly we are putting in our bodies and has taught me to look at ingredient labels!

Okay, now that we have the good things listed about whole 30 out of the way, I am going to share the not so good things. This list is solely what I believe and how my body reacted to the program. I really do believe that the whole 30 works wonders for some people. The NOT so good things about Whole 30 (in my opinion)…

  1. Nausea, Tiredness, – I know I didn’t give it the full 30 days and they say that in the beginning people will experience lots of bad side effects because their body is detoxifying. But, even on day 21 I still felt like this. I would randomly feel nauseous and my workouts were not effective because I was so tired. I felt weak and my energy level was non-existent.
  2.  I was constantly worried about food-  I found myself constantly thinking and worrying about food. I remember thinking if we were going to someone’s house “what if they don’t have any compliant foods”, “what if I hurt their feelings by not eating their food” and the list goes on. It consumed me. In Matthew 6:25-34, it says “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” For some people this may not be their problem but for me it was. I am naturally a worrier. I worry about everything. The whole 30 had me constantly worried about food. For example, I had every meal planned out for a whole month! I am not trying to give meal prep a bad rep either, I think that it is great, but in my case it was to excessive. The lord is good and has blessed us richly with food here in America. So why would I spend my day stressing over if the chicken I just ate had soy in it? The lord feeds us and has promised us to give us what we need. Worrying about my food is not going to get me anywhere.
  3. I am not allergic to dairy, peanuts, or bread-  I am not allergic to dairy, peanuts, or bread so why would I cut it out of my diet? For some people i know this is a major concern and some people really do have bad reactions to these types of food. But, I don’t and I knew i didn’t going into it. After the 21 days of whole 30, when I starting introducing these foods back in my body felt fine, I had no bad reactions whatsoever. So for some people I can understand how the whole 30 would be extremely beneficial to them about figuring out what foods their body doesn’t like. The only dairy and grains I really eat is 100% whole grain, oats, creamer, and occasionally cheese. These are all natural foods that come from sources the lord has provided (except the creamer). Lord made cows so we could have milk and cheese. People in the bible ate bread. These things are natural and the lord gave them to us to enjoy (in moderation, don’t be a glutten) and to nourish our bodies. Of course, the bible also tell us our body is a temple and to take care of it. So by exercising and eating healthy I am doing just that. The occasional creamer in my coffee will not kill me and it is not evil

my whole 30 breakfast

Like I said above the whole 30 works for some people and for some people it doesn’t. It was something I felt didn’t fit in with my family and my family’s needs. I have found much better peace and balance with food by watching what I eat, exercising daily, and enjoying the not so healthy foods in moderation. Most of all, I have found realizing and being thankful for the food I do have is important. I used to view food as the enemy. God has blessed us with an abundance of food, so in turn I will not stress and worry about my food. It’s just not worth it to me. All in all, I don’t think the whole 30 is bad and I am so happy for my friends and family that have had great success with it. It is just not for me and I am realizing that that is ok. I was beating myself up for not finishing the whole 30 and not having all these amazing results. But not everyone’s body is the same and we all react differently to different foods. I am still learning and finding out what foods my body needs to function at its bests. I would love to hear anybody’s feedback on the whole 30 good and bad!

the Lord is good.. how can i not be thankful for all this food! this is my sprouts grocery haul. All this food for $65. love double ad wednesday!

    Small Things

      
    “the smallest things become great when God requires them of us; they are small only in themselves; they are always great when they are done for God, and when they serve to unite us with Him eternally…”~francis Fenelon

    I love this quote by Francis Fenelon. It is such a great reminder and refreshes my soul. Sometimes, I get so caught up in doing “big things” or living a life that is extraordinary and unique that I quickly forget God has me where I am for a reason. Since I got married so young and had a baby by the time I was 21, I often feel like I grew up to quickly. That sounds selfish in a sense but I would be lying if I said there wasn’t times when I wish I had had more “me” time. Time to follow my dreams, travel, and learn to live and thrive on my own. But, when I start to dwell on those thoughts I quickly remind myself that this life is not mine. God has called me to be his servant and I am here on this earth solely to bring glory to him. I know full and well this is God’s plan for me. That doesn’t mean it is wrong to have dreams and goals. But right now my most important job is my family.  Sometimes I feel my job as a mom is so mundane and redundant. Motherhood is hard, a thousand times harder than I ever dreamed, but also a million times better. I have had to put passions and dreams of mine on hold for the betterment of my son.  A lot of times I feel being a mom goes unnoticed. How could God possibly use me if I am not on the frontlines in Africa as a missionary or a best-selling author? How can I invest in peoples lives and witness to others if I am at home changing diapers, folding laundry, etc.? God gently reminds me I have a soul I can witness to every hour of everyday! I am investing and pouring my life into another human. What could be more important than that? Daily, I am teaching my son to love Jesus.  My family is my ministry. I am called to love, teach, and nourish this sweet son of mine. When I choose to dwell in Jesus and teach my son about the bible I am doing “big things”. This is my calling and this is where God has me in this season of life. I am learning to rest and enjoy everyday life as a wife and mother. Its a different pace and my life has changed quickly, maybe more quickly than I would have liked, but I know this is the lord’s plan and I am thankful. I choose to see the small and mundane things in my life as big things for the lord and to use them for his glory. I choose to see my family as my ministry and not just people I live with. So whether I am rocking Carson to sleep or cleaning little kids teeth at work, I choose to do it with a joyful heart and for the glory of the lord.

    “Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God”

    1 Corinthians 10:31