Carson’s 1st Visit with Santa

We took Carson to see Santa this weekend and it pretty much turned out how I thought it would. He hated it. He was already crying and shaking in fear and we were still like 5ft away from the big man. But everybody has to have the one crying pic on Santa’s lap right?

We decided to make a night out of meeting Santa and went to grab dinner before hand at Rosati’s pizza. These little dough nuggets were Ah-mazing and Carson ate more of them then Jordan and I combined.

 

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After dinner, we drove to the Anthem outlets, which is also home of the nation’s tallest, REAL, Christmas tree.

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We waited in line for Santa for quite awhile and as soon as Carson saw him, he started crying. Here is Jordan with Santa back in ’92. He is the one crying on the right.

jordan and santa

Carson’s picture:

carson and santa

Like father, like son right? There is always next year though!

Saturday, was a pretty low key day and then in the afternoon we went to a Christmas party. Jordan was gone Saturday afternoon, so I was trying to get ready for the party and needed to take a shower, so I strapped Carson in his car seat and gave him a book. I took a peak at him and found him like this. Such a little man. lol

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Sunday was a pretty low key day. We grabbed lunch with our family at a Chinese buffet and I’m pretty sure Jordan and I both felt pretty sick the rest of the afternoon. So our Sunday pretty much consisted of football, snuggles, and folding laundry. Nothing to exciting, but hey, that’s life! This past week Jordan and I solidified are plans to going to Disneyland in February though! So we are pretty stoked about that! We haven’t been since our honeymoon!

Hope everyone had a great and rest-filled weekend! It went by way to fast!

 

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Happy 1st Birthday, Carson!!

Happy birthday to my sweet baby boy and bundle of joy! Unfortunately, Carson came down with the croup this week so he is definitely not feeling his best. We took him to the pediatrician yesterday though and they gave him a steroid shot to help with his breathing. Thankfully, that helped and he is on the mend now. It’s been so hard seeing him sick. Seriously, heart breaking! But he has been such a trooper and still sweet as ever! There hasn’t been a whole lot of sleep going on this week, but there has been lots of snuggles!  Which I am not complaining about!


  

  
  
  
  
Jordan came home early from the gym this morning and brought some donuts and a balloon for carson. We sang happy birthday to him and let him devour a chocolate, sprinkled donut. It was impossible to get a picture of him smiling this morning. As soon as he saw that donut, his eyes were locked on it and it was strictly business!


  

 




We are throwing him a little birthday party on Sunday and I can’t wait to see him dig into his little cake! Since carson has been so sick this past week, I haven’t been able to get as much party planning done as I wanted to, so his birthday will be pretty laid back! But that’s okay, because I’m pretty sure he is only gonna care about the cake part anyways! Carson is so blessed to have so many people that love him! He is gonna be spoiled rotten!

 

A Year of Motherhood

Man, I don’t even know where to start with this post. My mind always seems to write the perfect post while I’m running or working out, but as soon as I sit down to write it out, I have no words. If only my brain could type for me, when I’m not at the computer.

Anyways, as my little guy’s one year birthday is approaching, I decided to write and share about my first year of motherhood.  Even though it has actually been more like 1 year and 9 months of motherhood, because  as soon as I saw that positive pregnancy test, I started caring and nurturing for that little life inside of me. My first year of motherhood has been a whirlwind to say the least and most definitely one of the hardest things I have ever been and continue to go through.

carson owl

In the beginning, I always felt like I would arrive at a place where I felt comfortable as a mom and a place where I would finally feel like “I had it all together”. But I soon realized, that wasn’t going to happen, ever. Because as soon as I thought I had mastered one stage and started adjusting, Carson was onto the next stage. It’s like I was constantly shifting gears and could never keep up! There was and still are tears of sadness, tears of pain, of frustration, of hopelessness, of exhaustion, and even tears because I couldn’t open a pickle jar (true story). There have also been tears for no reason at all! And that’s ok! But more than anything, there have been tears of complete and utter joy, of happiness, and of love, an unending and immeasurable kind of love.  I remember my first week as a new mom, I told Jordan I was going to shower, but I really just needed to be alone and to cry. I was overwhelmed and felt so lost. Those first couple months were definitely the hardest. Some people told me to “let him cry it out”; others would say “no, co-sleeping is best”. That is just one example but the point is, I was so confused and in many ways felt like a failure.  I eventually learned that it’s okay to not know what to do and in those moments of complete hopelessness, is when I learned to truly surrender my worries and brokenness to the lord. I am now thankful for those moments that brought me to my knees. They have shaped me and grown me.

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Motherhood is a journey, a beautiful, beautiful journey, which I feel so blessed to be on. Whenever my son is throwing tantrums or is fighting nap time, I remind myself that there are women who would give anything to have that. I try to never take this for granted and always keep this at the forefront of my mind.  As do all mothers, I have experienced exhaustion like no other, frustration that makes me want to pull my hair out, and pain that is unbearable. But motherhood is also a love that I could go on forever about; the love a mama bear feels for her little cub is indescribable. Motherhood came fast for me and was not at all “a part of the 5 year plan”. But I truly believe it happened at the right time, even though there are many times it seems like a detour. Motherhood has taught me to be more patient, even though I am nowhere close to being as patient as I want to be! It has taught me to be more self-less and to love another human being more than myself (marriage has also taught me that!). For that, I am grateful. I am grateful that it has shaped me into who I am today. Motherhood is something I will never out learn, there is always something new to learn and to grow from.  In a lot of ways, I am straight up scared for the next 17 years. How will I teach this little boy of mine to grow up to be a responsible man and most importantly, to love Jesus fiercely? How can I teach him to a respectable, kind, smart and loving young man? If there is anything that I have learned in this past year it is to take it one day at a time, to start each day with a grateful heart and to pray, pray and then pray some more. Because sometimes, that’s all we can do is pray and trust the Lord with the rest.

me and carson kissing

 

Motherhood is not always a walk in the park, a pretty picture of mommy and baby snuggling, or ten tiny toes wrapped in a soft blanket. Motherhood is a messy time, an exhausting time, and a time of growth and learning. But more than anything, it is a beautiful time, a time to love and pour yourself into another little human’s life. Although I am scared to one day raise a teenager and venture through motherhood over the years, I am excited for the journey to come and the growth that will come from it. And as cliché as it sounds, this past year has been one of the hardest, but most amazing and love-filled years ever. So Cheers to tired eyes, a messy house, and re-heating my coffee up 15 times, before I actually finish it!

carson at camp

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Carson’s first snow day!

We went up to flagstaff last weekend to visit Jordan’s brother and to also play in the snow. It was Carson’s first time ever, so it was a fun experience! He didn’t care for the snow to much, but he did enjoy looking around. Flagstaff is basically a “college town” but has the cutest little shops, coffee houses, and awesome cafes! It is always so beautiful up there and makes me want to move every time we go! We had a great time and always look forward to our next trip up the mountain!

But first, coffee!



  


  
  
  
  
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Church Retreat 2015

Every year our church goes up north a couple hours to Prescott, Arizona for the weekend in the fall. This was our 4th year going and it was extra special this year because we got to bring Carson along with us. Carson had a great time and really enjoyed all that the woods had to offer. He is obsessed with twigs and stumps now! We ate, relaxed, played games, roasted marshmallows, studied the Word, sang worship songs, ate and then ate some more! All in All, it was a great weekend spent worshipping Jesus with our church FRamily!

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I have no words…


  

  

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My handsome brothers and beautiful sisters!

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carson at camp

Carson and Poppy

Carson and Poppy

me and carson cabin

together on grass

together in the gospel

Ephesians 4:1-16

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Perspective

Sometimes I find myself forgetting, more than I would like to admit, how blessed I am for the health of my child. I had an uncomplicated pregnancy and Carson has never once been to the doctors for anything but well checks. There are definitely times when I take his health for granted. In fact, sadly, I take a lot more than that for granted.

Since I work in the pediatric field, I come in contact with all different kinds of children.  I have the pleasure of working with children with autism, Down syndrome, cerebral palsy, and even children who are wheelchair bound. But these children, despite their differences, have so much joy. Whenever I see the joy on their faces, it is a huge wake up call to me. There are days when I get upset because Carson is crying or getting into everything, but there are children out there who would give anything to be able to use their legs or to use their voice to express their needs.

Our power went out last weekend so we went and hung out at target! So that’s why there are all these goofy target pictures!

Carson is such a a healthy boy and I am so thankful for that. I pray I never forget how blessed we are for my sweet boy’s health. I also know that anything can happen and Carson may not always be as healthy as he is now, but I know that God is sovereign over it all. I want to truly be thankful and not take things like this for granted.  I believe God puts the children that I work with in my life for a reason. Those children in a way might think that I am helping them, but they are actually helping me so much more! Their gentle, sweet smiles remind me of Gods goodness and hope. Today, I choose to hold my baby boy in a little closer and pray a sweet prayer of thankfulness over him. I also hope and pray that when he gets older I can instill thankfulness in his heart. I pray that he wil choose joy regardless of his situation and will always see other’s needs before his. When I think about some of the children I see, it definitely gives me a new perspective on things. My worries and troubles are no where close to some of the things people face on a daily basis.

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Psalm 106:9

Praise the Lord! Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever!

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Pumpkin Patch Fun

Jordan and I decided to take Carson to the Pioneer Village Pumpkin Patch this past weekend. Besides the fact that it was almost 100 degrees out, we had a lot of fun and Carson really enjoyed looking around. I can’t wait till he gets a little older and can enjoy all the things that they had to offer a little more. They had jump houses, face painting, hay rides, a hay maze, pumpkin painting, and a gun/magic show! I think Carson’s favorite thing was watching the goats at the petting zoo and picking out a pumpkin. He thought the goats were hilarious, and every time they would make a noise he would start laughing! So cute! Overall, it was a great time and we were exhausted afterwards!


  
  


  

They had an adult sack race there, so I practically begged Jordan to do it . Of course, he won and scored us a free entree to rubios and a gift card to the coffee bean! I knew he was good for something! ;)




  
   Afterwards, we were so exhausted, so we picked up some lunch and then I’m pretty sure we slept the rest of the afternoon. I think partly why it was so tiring was because it was so hot outside! I remember telling Jordan “I couldn’t imagine going to Disneyland with a ten month old! Going to a pumpkin patch is exhausting enough!” Regardless, it was still some great quality time spent with each other! So thankful for this little family of mine!

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Its Not a “Picture Perfect” Life

Sometimes, I look back at my high school self and wonder what I would do differently if I could go back. My life is not picture perfect at all. It didn’t happen in the order of sequence that I would of wanted it to and I am slowly but surely learning that that is okay. I wouldn’t consider myself a writer, although I do love to write, so this may sound like a jumbled up pile of mixed emotions.

There are many times I think back and wish I would of done things the “normal” way. Graduate high school, get a college degree, meet the love of my life, get married, have an amazing career, and then have kids MUCH later in life. It seems as though that is becoming the “new normal” more and more. People are getting a college degree, getting married later in life, and then having kids. But that is the world’s way of seeing it. That is a worldly “normal”. Who says you have to wait till your 30 to have kids?

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I got married at the ripe age of 19, then one year later, we found out we were expecting. We weren’t planning on having kids till much later in life. It definitely put “a wrench” in our plans.  Part of me felt like, Okay Savana, this is your life now, you are going to be a wife and a mom. Half of me was excited for this new phase of life, but a part (a big part) of me felt like a piece of me had died. I can no longer do what I want, follow my dreams, all of that is gone. Navigating life after your first baby is hard. I still have dreams and passions, but part of me now knows that my baby boy, next to Christ and my husband, comes first. It’s no longer about what I want, God has chosen me to be Carson’s mom. And he has chosen me to be his mom right now. Even though I didn’t have Carson when I wanted him, I had Carson when God wanted me to. Being a mom is one of the greatest blessings and although it may not always seem that way, I am so glad God chose me to be Carson’s mommy when he did.

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Sometimes, I look around and I am completely amazed by how blessed I am. But part of me still feels empty. I am still trying to fill that void. My desire is to go to dental hygiene school. But, I know deep down, that probably isn’t the best thing for Carson and our family right now. I believe God gives us dreams and passions to pursue, but sometimes what I want and what God wants can look grey. Its not black or white. Its not a yes or no. Finding a balance between it all can be overwhelmingly hard. I just cant seem to give it all up. I can’t surrender all of my wants, needs, and desires to him.  Why is this so hard for me?

When I was a little girl, all I ever wanted was to be married and have kids. That was my dream job, to be a wife and a mother. Why is there a part of me that still wants more? Sometimes, being a wife and a mom can feel so mundane. It is most definitely a job that doesn’t get enough credit. As a dental assistant, we get bonuses when our office does really well. When I work my butt off at my job, I get rewarded and noticed for it. As a mom, at times, it can feel like all I get is temper-tantrums and meltdowns. That sounds incredibly selfish, but sometimes it is hard to not feel this way. My job as a mom can go unnoticed and I don’t like that feeling. I like that sense of accomplishment after a long work day. That feeling like I made a difference and that I am apart of something bigger. Its as though, I have to be a missionary in a third-world country or something extravagant in order to feel accomplished.

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When I fix my eyes back on Jesus, and not the things of this world, I quickly realize I have the most important job in the world. I am apart of “something bigger”. I am investing my heart, soul, and life into this little human of mine. Everything I say and do, he looks at. God has placed Carson in my life for a reason. That sounds silly, like, of course, that is what Carson is in your life for. But in the middle of meltdowns in the grocery store and the constant biting, after I have said “no, biting” for the millionth time, It can be hard to rest in this truth.

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I am in a weird season of life, I feel so young, but also feel so old. Half of the people I went to high school with are in sororities and living the college life or starting their careers. I am learning its okay to not have my life go in the sequence that most people would consider normal. Although, I did get an education and went to school, I don’t have a degree, I don’t have an amazing career. I haven’t accomplished all that I wanted to. It may be a part of God’s plan for me to be a dental hygienist, but it also maybe a apart of his plan for me to stay home and be with Carson right now. Either way, it is God’s plan and his plan is always good. I know his plan is much better than anything I could ever come up with. The lord knows my desires and wants. He has inclined his ear to me.

Maybe the void I am trying to fill is standing right in front me, the one that calls me by name and catches every tear from my eyes. Becoming successful is not going to fill the void in my heart, only God can truly meet and fulfill my needs. These earthly desires are temporary and will only leave me feeling hungry and wanting more. Stepping out of what I want and who I am, and into who he is, is where I will find my complete happiness. I want to fully rest in his perfect peace, today and everyday. His plan is always better than mine.

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I may not have the “picture perfect” life that I wanted. And it may not have happened in the order that I would have hoped. But I do have an amazing husband that loves me and a son that looks up to me and considers me his world right now. And more than anything, I have a savior. A savior that loves me, for me! He loves me regardless of what I do or who I am. He doesn’t care if I have a master’s degree, an amazing career, or if I’m the president of the united states. He loves me even if I am “just” a wife and a mom.

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First weekend of fall

You would think for the first weekend of fall I would have some exciting pictures of us at a pumpkin patch or us taking a walk with the different colored leaves in the background. But nope, this weekend was pretty low key and we didn’t do to much. We spent a lot of time with friends and family which always makes for a good weekend. Friday night we went to my moms for dinner, we usually do every Friday for family dinner. We had taco crescents (it’s like taco meat baked in a crescent roll), it is so yummy. I also had a glass of wine, which is strange because I usually don’t like wine but this kind was very good!


I set my alarm really early on Saturday morning so I could get a run in before Carson woke up. I was able to run 5 miles and got done around 6:30am. I have been really happy with my running lately, I have been running close to 9 minute miles. When I first started running after having Carson, I was running over 10 minute miles, so I am slowly but surely getting faster so that was encouraging. After my run, we made our usual run to Starbucks. Venti vanilla iced coffee and room for cream please.


Saturday morning we went to Jordan’s grandparents house for brunch for my sweet sister in law and my nephews baby shower. We had Cinnabon, fruit salad, and an egg casserole. As much as I wanted one I stayed away from the cinnamon roll! Jordan ate one for me though, he had three! I’m pretty sure Jordan had dreams of Cinnabon all weekend. He is obsessed.

Saturday afternoon, I was in a baking mood, so I made these banana chocolate chip cookies and they were so delicious. They are actually almost all gone and Jordan and I didn’t share them with anybody!


  
Saturday night we walked around norterra for a little while and went into a Halloween store to look at costumes. Of course, Jordan had to try on the Obama costume. My work is dressing up for Halloween and we are all dressing up as the characters from Alice in wonderland so of course I was chosen to be Alice. But I will definitely not be paying 50$ dollars for my Alice costume! It is so crazy how expensive Halloween costumes are. It was fun to look around though and see all the different costumes and such.


For dinner, we decided on In n Out, which is never a bad idea. We met my brother and his wife for dinner and chatted about hygiene school. My brother starts dental hygiene school today, I am so excited for him! Anyways, Carson was making all sorts of faces and it wasn’t long before he started practicing his velociraptor screams and we had to leave.

Sunday morning we attempted church, but Carson was practicing his screams again and his new thing lately has been biting mommy. I would be lying if I said it was an easy weekend. This weekend was tough and Carson has really been testing by patience lately. He is at a weird age right now where he doesn’t really understand when we discipline him for biting, screaming, etc. I am trying to teach him “no, we don’t bite” but he just does it again. Ugh! So anyways church hadn’t even started for 10 minutes and he was already screaming and biting, so I decided to just take him home and do church by myself.

my battle wounds aka Carsons teeth marks

After jordan got home from church I went on a 4 mile run and it was so hot and nasty out. So I was definitely a lot slower than normal. So ready for it to start cooling down here! Sunday afternoon, we spent with family at Jordan’s grandparents and visited with his uncle who was in town. It was nice having the whole family together!


This morning, I woke up really early just so I could get some alone time in and spend some time with the lord before Carson woke up. I am Physically, mentally, and spiritually preparing for the week ahead. Parenting is hard. I am thankful for God’s grace this morning and I know “this too shall pass.”  A lot of Jesus and a lot of coffee will be my fuel this week. It’s not even 7am and I am working on my second cup! Happy Monday!

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Thoughts on Thursday: Frozen baby food bites

I can’t believe there is only one more week of September! This month has flown by! It’s crazy how fast time goes by when you have a child! Even though I am not glad time is going by so quickly, I am glad it’s almost October and the weather will start cooling down more. Today, it is still a high of 106!

Okay enough about the weather, I am practically an old lady and could talk about the weather forever. Anyways, Carson is in full on teething mode right now. He is always sticking things in his mouth and wanting to naw on something to help the pain go away. Bless his heart! I have tried everything and nothing seems to be really working except when he eats? I’m not really sure why but for whatever reason he is always quiet when we are giving him food! Lol Carson also really enjoys eating puffs for a snack which I do like to give to him but if he eats to many it makes him (tmi, I know) constipated. Ever since we added puffs in his diet I have noticed how much trouble he is having in that department. So after a couple months of this going on I tried thinking of other things I could give him and that’s when I decided to take just regular baby food and freeze it into little bites. He loves these things and they just melt right in his mouth. These frozen baby food bites have been a life saver and it is also nice because this way he is still learning to feed himself but he is also not filling himself up with just puffs.

I know, they look really gross, like a bunch of tiny animal droppings! lol



To make the baby food bites I simply just put baby food (I used prunes) into a plastic baggy and cut a very small hole at the bottom tip of the bag. I made small circles onto a tray and placed it in the freezer for a couple hours. Once they are completely frozen, I combine them all together in one bag to keep in the freezer and take out as needed. Carson gobbled these things up and since they were frozen they helped relieve some teething pain as well! He loves eating finger foods so this way he is still eating good nutritious foods but he is also learning to feed himself something else other than puffs and Cheerios!

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carson eating

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