Christmas Pictures 2016

We didn’t get many Christmas pictures taken this year, mostly because taking a picture with a 2 year is near impossible, but we did manage to get a few! I am absolutely loving this time of year and am soaking up every bit of it with Carson. He is at such a fun age and watching it all through his eyes makes it all the more magical. We have been trying to add in more of our own Christmas traditions this year, so we have started going through an advent series. I am really excited to start incorporating that every year and teach Carson the true meaning of Christmas.  This time of year is just simply the best, SO SO thankful and blessed! Love this little family of mine!

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Church Retreat 2015

Every year our church goes up north a couple hours to Prescott, Arizona for the weekend in the fall. This was our 4th year going and it was extra special this year because we got to bring Carson along with us. Carson had a great time and really enjoyed all that the woods had to offer. He is obsessed with twigs and stumps now! We ate, relaxed, played games, roasted marshmallows, studied the Word, sang worship songs, ate and then ate some more! All in All, it was a great weekend spent worshipping Jesus with our church FRamily!

in front of cabin

carson and twig

I have no words…


  

  

carson and twig #2

family on log

My handsome brothers and beautiful sisters!

games

sitting in chair

carson at camp

Carson and Poppy

Carson and Poppy

me and carson cabin

together on grass

together in the gospel

Ephesians 4:1-16

Linking up with:

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Perspective

Sometimes I find myself forgetting, more than I would like to admit, how blessed I am for the health of my child. I had an uncomplicated pregnancy and Carson has never once been to the doctors for anything but well checks. There are definitely times when I take his health for granted. In fact, sadly, I take a lot more than that for granted.

Since I work in the pediatric field, I come in contact with all different kinds of children.  I have the pleasure of working with children with autism, Down syndrome, cerebral palsy, and even children who are wheelchair bound. But these children, despite their differences, have so much joy. Whenever I see the joy on their faces, it is a huge wake up call to me. There are days when I get upset because Carson is crying or getting into everything, but there are children out there who would give anything to be able to use their legs or to use their voice to express their needs.

Our power went out last weekend so we went and hung out at target! So that’s why there are all these goofy target pictures!

Carson is such a a healthy boy and I am so thankful for that. I pray I never forget how blessed we are for my sweet boy’s health. I also know that anything can happen and Carson may not always be as healthy as he is now, but I know that God is sovereign over it all. I want to truly be thankful and not take things like this for granted.  I believe God puts the children that I work with in my life for a reason. Those children in a way might think that I am helping them, but they are actually helping me so much more! Their gentle, sweet smiles remind me of Gods goodness and hope. Today, I choose to hold my baby boy in a little closer and pray a sweet prayer of thankfulness over him. I also hope and pray that when he gets older I can instill thankfulness in his heart. I pray that he wil choose joy regardless of his situation and will always see other’s needs before his. When I think about some of the children I see, it definitely gives me a new perspective on things. My worries and troubles are no where close to some of the things people face on a daily basis.

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Psalm 106:9

Praise the Lord! Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever!

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Its Not a “Picture Perfect” Life

Sometimes, I look back at my high school self and wonder what I would do differently if I could go back. My life is not picture perfect at all. It didn’t happen in the order of sequence that I would of wanted it to and I am slowly but surely learning that that is okay. I wouldn’t consider myself a writer, although I do love to write, so this may sound like a jumbled up pile of mixed emotions.

There are many times I think back and wish I would of done things the “normal” way. Graduate high school, get a college degree, meet the love of my life, get married, have an amazing career, and then have kids MUCH later in life. It seems as though that is becoming the “new normal” more and more. People are getting a college degree, getting married later in life, and then having kids. But that is the world’s way of seeing it. That is a worldly “normal”. Who says you have to wait till your 30 to have kids?

pregnant

I got married at the ripe age of 19, then one year later, we found out we were expecting. We weren’t planning on having kids till much later in life. It definitely put “a wrench” in our plans.  Part of me felt like, Okay Savana, this is your life now, you are going to be a wife and a mom. Half of me was excited for this new phase of life, but a part (a big part) of me felt like a piece of me had died. I can no longer do what I want, follow my dreams, all of that is gone. Navigating life after your first baby is hard. I still have dreams and passions, but part of me now knows that my baby boy, next to Christ and my husband, comes first. It’s no longer about what I want, God has chosen me to be Carson’s mom. And he has chosen me to be his mom right now. Even though I didn’t have Carson when I wanted him, I had Carson when God wanted me to. Being a mom is one of the greatest blessings and although it may not always seem that way, I am so glad God chose me to be Carson’s mommy when he did.

carson santa

Sometimes, I look around and I am completely amazed by how blessed I am. But part of me still feels empty. I am still trying to fill that void. My desire is to go to dental hygiene school. But, I know deep down, that probably isn’t the best thing for Carson and our family right now. I believe God gives us dreams and passions to pursue, but sometimes what I want and what God wants can look grey. Its not black or white. Its not a yes or no. Finding a balance between it all can be overwhelmingly hard. I just cant seem to give it all up. I can’t surrender all of my wants, needs, and desires to him.  Why is this so hard for me?

When I was a little girl, all I ever wanted was to be married and have kids. That was my dream job, to be a wife and a mother. Why is there a part of me that still wants more? Sometimes, being a wife and a mom can feel so mundane. It is most definitely a job that doesn’t get enough credit. As a dental assistant, we get bonuses when our office does really well. When I work my butt off at my job, I get rewarded and noticed for it. As a mom, at times, it can feel like all I get is temper-tantrums and meltdowns. That sounds incredibly selfish, but sometimes it is hard to not feel this way. My job as a mom can go unnoticed and I don’t like that feeling. I like that sense of accomplishment after a long work day. That feeling like I made a difference and that I am apart of something bigger. Its as though, I have to be a missionary in a third-world country or something extravagant in order to feel accomplished.

christmas pic

When I fix my eyes back on Jesus, and not the things of this world, I quickly realize I have the most important job in the world. I am apart of “something bigger”. I am investing my heart, soul, and life into this little human of mine. Everything I say and do, he looks at. God has placed Carson in my life for a reason. That sounds silly, like, of course, that is what Carson is in your life for. But in the middle of meltdowns in the grocery store and the constant biting, after I have said “no, biting” for the millionth time, It can be hard to rest in this truth.

carson basket

I am in a weird season of life, I feel so young, but also feel so old. Half of the people I went to high school with are in sororities and living the college life or starting their careers. I am learning its okay to not have my life go in the sequence that most people would consider normal. Although, I did get an education and went to school, I don’t have a degree, I don’t have an amazing career. I haven’t accomplished all that I wanted to. It may be a part of God’s plan for me to be a dental hygienist, but it also maybe a apart of his plan for me to stay home and be with Carson right now. Either way, it is God’s plan and his plan is always good. I know his plan is much better than anything I could ever come up with. The lord knows my desires and wants. He has inclined his ear to me.

Maybe the void I am trying to fill is standing right in front me, the one that calls me by name and catches every tear from my eyes. Becoming successful is not going to fill the void in my heart, only God can truly meet and fulfill my needs. These earthly desires are temporary and will only leave me feeling hungry and wanting more. Stepping out of what I want and who I am, and into who he is, is where I will find my complete happiness. I want to fully rest in his perfect peace, today and everyday. His plan is always better than mine.

me and carson

I may not have the “picture perfect” life that I wanted. And it may not have happened in the order that I would have hoped. But I do have an amazing husband that loves me and a son that looks up to me and considers me his world right now. And more than anything, I have a savior. A savior that loves me, for me! He loves me regardless of what I do or who I am. He doesn’t care if I have a master’s degree, an amazing career, or if I’m the president of the united states. He loves me even if I am “just” a wife and a mom.

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Linking up with: The beauty in his grip, Savvy Southern style, A little R&R, Jessi’s Design, The NY Melrose Family, Purposeful faith, A fresh start on a budget, momfessionals, Annie and Natalie, Intentionally pursuing

We Were Babies

Jordan and I met when we were just teenagers, 15 and 17 to be exact. Looking back I always chuckle a little inside. Because whenever I see 15 year olds in a relationship I cringe, they look so young and innocent. But who am I to judge right? lol Jordan and I were so young when we met and our friendship quickly turned into a relationship very fast. I am thankful that even though we were so young, we stayed together and I am happy to say Jordan is the only man I have ever loved! Sometimes I wonder how did I get so lucky to marry my high school sweetheart? But God knew what he was doing and it was all apart of his plan. Looking back I feel like a completely different person now then when I met Jordan. Same goes for Jordan though, he is a completely different person and has grown so much. But one thing that has stayed the same over the years is that we both love Jesus and know our life is not about what WE want but what HE wants. I believe that that is what has drawn us closer over the years and kept us together. HE is the glue that holds us together. I am not saying that Jordan and I’s relationships is perfect or has gone without trial by any means, because that is the furthest thing from the truth. But its our story and I love our story. Jordan and I are complete opposites, but we are still best friends. He keeps me laughing, so I stuck around. Who doesn’t like laughing, right?

Our first picture together. Homecoming 2009. Back to Jordan's long hair days!

Our first picture together. Homecoming 2009. Back to Jordan’s long hair days!

Jordan was rocking the beiber hair when we first met. Thankfully, it didn’t last long and he cut off those long locks a couple months later. You know your boyfriend needs to cut off his hair when he is asking to borrow your straightener!

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Prom 2010

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Our First Christmas together. Christmas 2009.

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the polar express 2009

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Our first Halloween together. Halloween 2009

halloween 2011

Halloween 2011

camp

Camp wamotochick 2011

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camp 2011

mountain

I love looking back and seeing the life we have created together. Even though being married and starting our life together so young was difficult and still is at times I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I love doing life with this man beside me.

kiss

Making Peace

Today, I am making peace.

I am making peace with my weaknesses. Recently, my pastor quoted this the other day in church and it really got me thinking. This is one of my biggest struggles. Perfection. I always feel the need to have everything perfect and to be perfect. I am constantly focused on the areas of my life that aren’t “perfect”. I am fixated on my weaknesses. In 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, it says “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties, For when I am weak, then I am strong.” Instead of dwelling on the things I’m not good at, I should be dwelling on the things I am good at and use those things to further the kingdom. God made us all different, we all have different passions, talents and spiritual gifts. That’s what makes the body one. God doesn’t want us to all be good at the same thing. Some are gifted with hospitality, some are not, and that’s ok! God made us that way. Sometimes I am trying so hard to make the weaknesses in my life better when I should be using my strengths. I am learning I don’t have to be good at everything. I don’t have to be ashamed of my failures or embarrassed because im not good at a certain something. That’s the way God made me and designed me to be. The body of Christ is there for the areas where I fall short. When we all use our gifts and talents to the fullest, instead of dwelling on our weakness, that is when we are fully living for Christ and furthering the kingdom. I need to invest my time and energy in what I do best. Instead of feeling exhausted by the end of the day from trying so hard to perfect my weak points, I need to look back and rejoice in the things I am good at and be thankful for those gifts. 

  

Life is a Garden 

“Life is not a ladder but a garden to enjoy” J. Yates
Lately, I have really been struggling with this. There are days were I wish Carson was in a different stage. I wish he wasn’t getting into stuff, teething, pulling up on furniture and then falling down, putting everything in his mouth, and the list goes on. It’s as though I view my life as a ladder and I’m always trying to get to the next “step”. Thinking the next stage will be easier or “I will be able to do this once he is at this age” but each stage brings on a new set of challenges. At times I feel drained and overwhelmed that I will never catch up with all the new changes. Sometimes I find myself wanting to go “down the ladder”, go back and fix the areas where I feel like I failed as a mom.


I need to learn to rest in the here and now. I need to stop wishing the time away and stop trying to take it back. I can’t change anything. The lord is so patient and gives us abundant grace. What would my life look like if I relied and lived out that truth every day? I long to enjoy the “garden” the lord has set before me. I want to fully rest in the present and stop looking behind or ahead. My sweet boy will only be this little once and even though some days are trying, I know one day when he is grown I’ll be wishing I could go back.  So instead of trying to go up or down the ladder, I choose to enjoy the beauty and grace in the garden the lord has in front of me.

Small Things

  
“the smallest things become great when God requires them of us; they are small only in themselves; they are always great when they are done for God, and when they serve to unite us with Him eternally…”~francis Fenelon

I love this quote by Francis Fenelon. It is such a great reminder and refreshes my soul. Sometimes, I get so caught up in doing “big things” or living a life that is extraordinary and unique that I quickly forget God has me where I am for a reason. Since I got married so young and had a baby by the time I was 21, I often feel like I grew up to quickly. That sounds selfish in a sense but I would be lying if I said there wasn’t times when I wish I had had more “me” time. Time to follow my dreams, travel, and learn to live and thrive on my own. But, when I start to dwell on those thoughts I quickly remind myself that this life is not mine. God has called me to be his servant and I am here on this earth solely to bring glory to him. I know full and well this is God’s plan for me. That doesn’t mean it is wrong to have dreams and goals. But right now my most important job is my family.  Sometimes I feel my job as a mom is so mundane and redundant. Motherhood is hard, a thousand times harder than I ever dreamed, but also a million times better. I have had to put passions and dreams of mine on hold for the betterment of my son.  A lot of times I feel being a mom goes unnoticed. How could God possibly use me if I am not on the frontlines in Africa as a missionary or a best-selling author? How can I invest in peoples lives and witness to others if I am at home changing diapers, folding laundry, etc.? God gently reminds me I have a soul I can witness to every hour of everyday! I am investing and pouring my life into another human. What could be more important than that? Daily, I am teaching my son to love Jesus.  My family is my ministry. I am called to love, teach, and nourish this sweet son of mine. When I choose to dwell in Jesus and teach my son about the bible I am doing “big things”. This is my calling and this is where God has me in this season of life. I am learning to rest and enjoy everyday life as a wife and mother. Its a different pace and my life has changed quickly, maybe more quickly than I would have liked, but I know this is the lord’s plan and I am thankful. I choose to see the small and mundane things in my life as big things for the lord and to use them for his glory. I choose to see my family as my ministry and not just people I live with. So whether I am rocking Carson to sleep or cleaning little kids teeth at work, I choose to do it with a joyful heart and for the glory of the lord.

“Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God”

1 Corinthians 10:31