I think I have a love/ hate relationship with these kind of posts. You know, the kind were I actually let my feelings out. But in a lot of ways, it’s therapeutic for me and feels so good to just jot it all down sometimes.
In all honesty, there are somedays it’s really hard being a mom. It can be tiring taking care of somebody that clings to you all day long, eats your food(carson freaks out whenever he sees me eating and immediately thinks he should be eating too), and somehow manages to put every crumb of everything in his mouth. Most days, it feels like the only word that comes out of my mouth is “no”, “no, don’t touch that”, “no, don’t go in there” and so on. There are days were there are so many other things I want/ need to get done. Things I want to cross off my to-do lists and goals I wants to pursue. But somedays, most days, I feel lucky if I can just get a load of laundry done. In fact, some nights I feel like a heck of a wife if I have a nice, home-cooked meal on the table.
As I was reflecting this morning and remembering all the stuff I needed to do today. I felt a sudden peace, and as though God was just telling me to enjoy being Carson’s mom today. Now of course, most people, atleast I would hope, enjoy being a mom or dad, but I mean really, truly enjoying the day to day grind. Even the not so fun and messy parts. Because most of us know, life with a 1 year old can be pretty messy, literally.
Even though the day to day can sometimes seem daunting, I feel so blessed to be Carson’s mama. And even though, there are many things I want to accomplish, none of them will EVER compare to the joy and satisfaction of being a mom to my son. Being Carsons’s mom makes me so happy and all these little to-do lists and goals can sometimes get in the way of truly enjoying what’s in front of me. Now that doesn’t mean, I shouldn’t pursue things or never get anything done. But I think it’s important to sometimes take a step back and realize that somedays the only thing I might get done is just a load of laundry and that’s okay.
So for today, I’m clearing my schedule and starting with a fresh mindset. Resting in the fact, that I don’t have to do it all in one day and that its okay to take a step back sometimes. I’m realizing that once in a awhile, It’s alright to “take a day off” and just truly embrace the time and place God has called me to be in right now. So my goal for today is to enjoy and embrace motherhood, to love and cherish my little one, to be patient and kind to him, and if I just so happen to get the dishes done in the process then great, but if not, then that’s ok too.
I love being this boy’s mom!