“Life is not a ladder but a garden to enjoy” J. Yates
Lately, I have really been struggling with this. There are days were I wish Carson was in a different stage. I wish he wasn’t getting into stuff, teething, pulling up on furniture and then falling down, putting everything in his mouth, and the list goes on. It’s as though I view my life as a ladder and I’m always trying to get to the next “step”. Thinking the next stage will be easier or “I will be able to do this once he is at this age” but each stage brings on a new set of challenges. At times I feel drained and overwhelmed that I will never catch up with all the new changes. Sometimes I find myself wanting to go “down the ladder”, go back and fix the areas where I feel like I failed as a mom.
I need to learn to rest in the here and now. I need to stop wishing the time away and stop trying to take it back. I can’t change anything. The lord is so patient and gives us abundant grace. What would my life look like if I relied and lived out that truth every day? I long to enjoy the “garden” the lord has set before me. I want to fully rest in the present and stop looking behind or ahead. My sweet boy will only be this little once and even though some days are trying, I know one day when he is grown I’ll be wishing I could go back. So instead of trying to go up or down the ladder, I choose to enjoy the beauty and grace in the garden the lord has in front of me.